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Hi Everyone,
If you are reading this, I am assuming you want to hear more about my
secrets to creating a romantic partner. First I will start with a
brief description of the tip. Then I will apply it to my birthday
story. Revealing the real secret.
How to help your man be
more romantic.
First off, we must dispel a fantasy that is going around. Are you
ready? The myth goes something like this: "If he loves me, he
would notice what I like and I shouldn't have to tell him." Let's
face it, more than half the relationships out there fail. And one
sure way to cause a relationship to fail is to live in this fantasy.
Myth number two: "Men are not romantic." If a man is not
romantic, there are two reasons:
a) You (or someone else)
trained him long ago NOT to be romantic, when you (or they) settled for
less or bought into the "he is not romantic" myth.
b) You don't know the RIGHT way to ask for what you want. (There
is a way that works wonders!)
Any man can be romantic with the right training and the right
inspiration.
Here is what he needs from
you:
- Believe in your man
- Ask the RIGHT way
- Give him a list of ideas and suggestions (a written
list)
- Be patient and have faith
- Don't give up on what you want
- Stop complaining if it's not exactly when, or the
way, you want it
- Shower him with your love and adoration when he does
something you like
If you consistently follow those steps..
He will do it again and
he'll do it better over time!
My Birthday Story
My birthday is a BIG deal for me. I don't care about
Christmas gifts, Anniversary or Valentine's Day gifts, so he doesn't
have to worry about those. But he better not forget my
birthday! Not everyone feels the same way, and this is my
personal preference. In the beginning of our relationship he
wrote me poems and surprised me with a new card everyday for a week for
my birthday. It was special and I loved it! However, his
gift buying is less than perfect. The poor man fails at this
every time. So, rather than make him feel bad about my
disappointment in his selection, I have told him he need not buy me
anything. Really though, that's because I get anything I want all
the time anyway. The man loves to see my joy, so he eagerly
encourages me to ask for what I want.
My husband is well trained (he does after all lead the course with me),
and continually provides me with everything I want and need. So a
gift really is redundant.
Back to my birthday. For sometime now, he has been remodeling our
home, to my specifications, lavishing me with amazing custom
pieces. The ritual is, he would ask me what I want for my
birthday, and my response was, "I don't need anything, after all you
give me presents all the time." But funny thing is, he thought
that meant he could completely ignore my birthday (ha ha). "I
don't need presents" does not equal "forget about my birthday" in my
world. I was not at all happy.
After that, when I told him I did not want any presents, I also let him
know my birthday was still important to me, and I like to at least get
some attention. How could he go from a card every day to nothing.
Last year he had something very special for me. He had a friend
who is a songwriter, write a song for me. My very own song!
Isn't that romantic! Well, for you fantasy land romantics, the
truth is I asked for it. That's a topic for another
discussion. (Call me, if you are stuck.)
After attending party after party where other husbands had songs
written for their wives, no matter how many hints I would drop it
seemed to me that he was not going to get the hint. So one day, I
sat him down and told him, "I had hoped you would have figured out that I
thought this writing a song for me was the ultimate romantic gesture. To know your
husband thinks about having a song written for you about you!". I
explained that since I told him, I also took away the romance of it,
because it's not HIS idea. So I asked how could he fix
this? He said, "don't worry, you can still count on me to make it
romantic." My very next birthday, some friends threw a birthday
party for me. And my husband and our song writer friend sang the
song he wrote for me in front of a group of 100 people.
Now I know you think if you have to ask, this takes away the
romance. But what is romance after all? He pays attention
to my needs, he cares about what I want, he delights in my happiness,
and he provides me with some special surprises. The lesson in
this story is that I still had my surprise. He surprised me with
his words and thoughts about who I am in a song. And by letting
go of WHEN it would happen, I was surprised with the way and the when
of his romantic gift.
Now here is the lesson
clincher
It may seem I lost out on the romantic notion of getting completely
surprised by knowing that my husband had thought to have a song written
about me. The first essential element to recognize is that men do
not think the same way women think. Since he doesn't think the
way you do, expecting him to read your mind will just burden him, and
cause him to give up. Men stop trying to be romantic because
women tell them they fail at it; all the time!
It's so simple, it's "Basic Reinforcement 101" training. If you
have kids you know this. If they do badly at a subject, they
decide they are bad at it, and stop trying. Well, either you, or
someone before you, also sent many a message that had him stop trying.
Real inspiration comes from his love for you. There is nothing a
man won't do for a woman he adores. When the 'do' goes out of the
adores, it's because he gets
worn down.
We developed a program with the intention of teaching men and women these
techniques, as well as new communincation skills. If you want to
know the whole list, check out the website. What I am
wanting to share with you is how amazed I am over the reaction of the
men.
I now see men differently. I can now easily distinguish the ones
that are eager to be loved and the ones that have not been touched by
love. I can tell when they have lost their belief in themselves
because they have been told by woman after woman what they have done
wrong. I see the ones that adore their wives, but she does not
notice. I see the ones hanging on by a thin thread, living in a
state of despair, because they're left with no clue how to fill their wife's
needs. And it's because I have been given a gift to see men NOW
for the fragile lovers that they are without a voice and a clue, that I
am devoted to help them. And they are quick and eager
learners.
Every man wants to know what my husband and I
reveal. I will relate it to when you first learn to ride
a bike. You know what I mean. You see other's having it,
and you know it's possible, yet every time you try, you fail. And
then one day, you get it! Balance! And suddenly it's
simple. And it's fun and you can go places. This is the
life I live. This is my gift and my reward.
Men who learn how easy it
is are inspired.
Inspired, by the possibility of that kind of love. Inspired to be
that kind of man for a special woman. Inspired by the new tools
he has gained to make his wife happy. Men want to be adored by
their wife, their partner. They want their woman to know how much
they love her. However, when they do something you perceive as
stupid or clumsy or inept or unromantic, the message they get over and
over and over is that they have failed. This is why there are so
many men choosing brides from submissive cultures. They don't
necessarily want a submissive woman. They just want to be
appreciated. They just want the scale of complaints versus
adoration to tip back to a happy medium.
Here is how I let my man
win at being romantic:
After I knew that he knew clearly, that I wanted a song, I left the rest
up to him. And since I know and trust that he really wants me to
be happy and that he will work hard to make the experience romantic, I
let go of my concerns, and expectations. I stopped worrying.
I knew that when it was finally presented, I would be delighted with
however he was going to do it. It's simply that where he was
coming from in his heart was to win with me, to see me happy. He
wanted to score a WIN for me, and I trusted him to do it. You
should know that I adore him for letting me express by dilemma and my
wants, and for letting me feel the giddiness again of knowing I have a
man that thinks I am special enough to have a special song written,
about me. Did I mention that he actually sang two verses
himself?
About this year's birthday
Minutes after I had awoken, Emmett had our friend call to sing my song
to me to start my birthday off. Totally unexpected. Totally
cherished. For me it was highly romantic! And I let him
know it! Which is another tip. Find extra times to
acknowledge your man for being romantic. If you do, he'll enjoy
your reaction and do it again.
He's still getting trained
Just today, when we talked about it, he realized that when a women
expresses she likes something or wants something, there needs to be
some indicator from him that he heard her and she can count on him to
follow through. The acknowledgment can be subtle, but it must be
something that let's a woman know that something is happening, and she
should be patient. It let's us know the request or desire has
been received by him. This gives him the time to really plan his
romantic delivery. Because once you know he heard you and is
interested in providing you with what you want, you can then wait with
great anticipation, knowing he will someday surprise you with what you
want.
What I did not know
Often, years later, I will learn some detail that my husband never
shared with me. Hearing these details revealed that he had plans
for a song and had been working on it long before I knew. So it
turns out that he had been planning it for months before I brought it
up. He just did not realize the timing is essential part of the
equation. Nor did he realize how important it was to hint he had
a surprise for me.
Beyond your expectations
To master training your man to be romantic takes some training for
yourself. For instance, resist telling him how to do it. If
you leave him alone with your unconditional faith, he will deliver
beyond your expectations.
I hope to have inspired you. In fact it's my hope to inspire the
country. The lessons I have learned are exactly what I wished I
knew years ago. I am lucky to know now and have the marriage of
my dreams.
If you have tried all of these tips and you are not having success.
Call me! I promise this works. I have a couple hundred
clients who can attest to it.
Discover more training from Relationships 123...
Ready to ignite your heart?
Call 408-847-7487
Inspired Relationships Program
in Ontario, California
September 16th and 17th, 2006
starts 9:00 am, Saturday
$695 per
person
Save $145 if you register by Sept. 5th
Country Side Hotel
Ontario, CA
If you can't be there, please pass this on to a friend
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Next available Relationships 123
Inspired Relationships Program:
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Weekend of February 17th
Reconnect!
Inspired Relationships Program
at the Holiday.
Pre-register, and be assured a seat in one of the next 3 programs
and save up to $300 by registering early.
Presented by:
Emmett and Denise Culley
Why we offer this program:
When we had the experience of changing people's lives in a way that is
profound and cherished, we realized this is not just a
lark. This is a calling for us. We
could make much more money working at corporate careers. We are
highly talented professionals. But when we experienced the joy
and rewards of providing people with access to the one thing they
wanted most in life; to be happily in love for the rest of their life;
to choose the right mate; to heal heart ache. Then we knew this
was something that called us. And it really is the best life to
give to others.
This program is so powerful, it's life altering.
Our clients have a new awareness and energy about their relationships,
they did not know was possible. We are known by hundreds of
people for causing engagements, marriages, healed marriages, and
sometimes just a new confidence and inspiration in life.
Relationships are not easy, and as
human beings we don't seem to have the innate skills to master them on
our own. Ofttimes we need help. There are a lot of ways to
obtain help out there. Books, therapy, retreats, church programs,
just to name a few.
So if you are looking for help
with your relationship, we want you to know that we only accept people
whose needs match the value of the program. We offer a money back
guarantee. We would not offer that if we were not confident in
providing you something authentically worth your time and money.
Our promise to you.
If you are curious, you should follow that internal message. It's
saying, I want more. And I want something but is this really
worthwhile? Our promise is that you can call Denise for a free coaching session. She
won't pressure you to do the program. She will provide you with a
valuable coaching session. And if you recognize that this is
calling you, you can make that choice freely.
Call for your FREE coaching session.
Call 408-847-7487
This program works, Guaranteed!
Ready to break the code, and take the mystery out of how to communicate between the sexes?
Are you intrigued by what the
Relationship 123 Weekend Workshop is all about? Is the timing
right?
If you're curious, answer the following questions and see...
- Is your relationship a disappointment?
- Wonder if you have settled for less in a partner?
- Have a great relationship, yet something is off?
- Argue a lot? Do the fights end without resolution?
- Do the same arguments keep recurring?
- Do you feel misunderstood by the opposite sex?
- Men -- wish you understood what women want?
- Women -- wonder what he is thinking or feeling?
- Repeatedly make the wrong choices in a partner?
- Curious why relationships ended or failed?
- Have you given up on relationships?
If these questions bring up other questions for you, feel free to contact us!
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Denise Culley
Relationships 123
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